“The intense rules of the game of self-love involve: having healthy boundaries, creating a discipline for balance, nurturing self-compassion, growing in gratitude, evolving in self-worth, being mindful of self-care. It is a courageous hero’s journey. All you need to do is to let go and surrender even more – so you always win.”Manprit Suri
All of the labels and titles in life that we call ourselves are not our self. We are unconsciously attached to it with force. Our five senses create this forceful illusion of unconscious conditional attachments to earthly 3-dimensional existence. And eventually, we become unbalanced, exhausted, burned out, and remain a victim or slaves of it.
We assume that we are powerless without it. If you enter a challenge/game with no power, what kind of challenger are you?
What is our power? Love. It is your divine power. It is your conscious power. Having a love relationship with yourself is the key to driving the divine power.
As you awaken spiritually, you realize the power of self-love. Knowing how to channel your positive energy, power, or love consciously is the name of the game.
In this post, we’ll delve into:
- What is Self-love?
- How to decondition self-love?
- What is Self?
- What are the criteria of teaching self-love?
- How to play the game of self-love?
- Can we play the game of self-love now?
- When is the right time to start self-love?
Self-Love: Question #1: What is Self-love?
Self-love means giving more attention and awareness to your own ‘inner’ power or self with compassion. Giving priority to your inner-being leads to your well-being. Doing so requires vibrating with a higher level of consciousness.
- Self-love means being yourself, in love with yourself, being worthy of yourself. Being grateful for who you are, where you are, how you are!
- Self-love means pushing other priorities that do not serve to love you. Creating boundaries and saying no to things, people, processes, relationships, careers that you do not love and doing what you love.
- Being with what you love may require isolation but may also mean balancing life the way you feel loved inside.
- It means going to places that you love and not going to places that you don’t love.
- Loving your mind, your body, and your soul. Giving and receiving graceful vibrations to your thoughts, emotions, and physical body. Keeping and sustaining yourself in a higher state of happiness. Doing so requires being aware and away from any conditions.
Self-Love: Question #2:How to decondition self-love?
Self-love can only happen in the absence of conditioning. The more you start to love yourself, the more deconditioning tends to occur. The many layers of the false sense of self begin to go away.
Self-love strips away unconscious biases and the victim consciousness mentality caused due to comparisons, competitions, and conditions – weights on your soul-self. Such things only leave us with the symptoms of stress, anxiety, depression in the long run.
We need to dissolve our false self (not-self) to find the inner self. Only then can we truly understand our true selves and then experience the nature of self-love.
The problem is we don’t quite remember what self-love feels like anymore. An even bigger problem is we have forgotten what self means.
We have been busy becoming ‘not’ ourselves for decades and lifetimes that we have forgotten what it means to be ourself let alone love it. So we first need to come to terms with the definition of self itself!
Self-Love: Question #3:What is Self?
A self is beyond the terms we are given by our so-called society, relatives, and cultures. These terms are condition-naming limiting variables of our inner self that keep changing as we move across our timeline on this planet earth.
There are various types such as dad, mom, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, religious titles, career titles, country titles such as citizens, aliens, etc. – a tiring proposition to remember them all.
The real question is that are we the titles and labels? If so, then we wouldn’t exist if we didn’t have them? The titles did not exist before you started a career, had a baby, were married, when you were still in college, studying in school, were kids, an infant was still in the mother’s womb.
These labels keep us tied here in competitions, comparisons only to create a divide among us humans – to belittle us if we don’t recognize them or achieve the many ambitions placed on us. Such living only distances us from our original self and makes us feel inferior. Why? Because it is a guilt game, not a game of self-love.
Such a game is not worth playing. At least not anymore as it encourages corruption, self-hate, self-blame. It is a time of karmic settlement. We should consciously end such a game now. The challenge is that these titles are a necessary evil in our society.
But unless your SELF hits rock bottom in life via life-changing traumas or events that trigger you to wonder if these things are what we are here for, you will never wake up to the reality. The traumas include mental illness, seizures, cancer, NDE or near-death experience, or anything that could trigger your spiritual awakening.
It is after all these setbacks that you realize self-love is indeed a game worth playing. But how? What are the criteria?
Self-Love: Question #4:What are the criteria of teaching self-love?
Why teach? The best way to learn something is to teach it. You can only teach self-love when you have learned it yourself. Otherwise, your service to others will feel hollow from inside.
To teach self-love, you must first reach a state in life where you feel a sense of emptiness, lack of something meaningful, something inadequate that gives birth to low self-esteem, lower vibrational frequency, unconscious living, and low confidence. Interestingly, this is the very state of our century currently.
Many are reaching this tipping point or striving to unconsciously. It is the truth. And, it is also the criteria or an unconscious learning step towards self-love. That is, feeling miserable and hating yourself – by attaching to things outside of yourself and detaching from your inside self.
Interestingly, you go through setbacks, unconscious self-hate, feeling not good enough, and floating in lower vibrations to ultimately wake up and rise, recognize, and realize the process of self-love.
It is after you have distanced your outer self with your inner self far enough that you will come to realize your true self and start loving it.
Self-love is a game worth playing and then teaching. But you will need courage for both as you will be challenged and stretched in all different directions.
Simply knowing you are playing the game is a blessing in disguise that ultimately leads to increased awareness of yourself.
Self-Love: Question #5:How to play the game of self-love?
In my experience, self-love is a challenging but playful journey of self-compassion, self-worth, self-care, gratitude, courage, discipline, let-go, surrender, boundaries, balance. It’s quite an art of living away from the ordinary. It is a forgotten art. It is a game that requires playing with a different elevated level of consciousness.
I deeply contemplated my steps for playing this game after reading David Hawkins’s spectrum of consciousness levels. Then I created my own game of self-love to help trigger you.
This game is real and comes with a warning – it will transform you inside. It will elevate your consciousness.
Take a few deep breaths and calm your mind and body. Be in the right environment of calm. Most of all, you need to permit yourself if you wish to play this game. If you are willing to play and are ready, then let us play now.
Self-Love: Question #6:Can we play the game of self-love now?
Yes. Read the steps below, and follow them carefully:
- The first step is to admit that we don’t know how to play this game. To surrender to the fact that there exists a more conscious solution beyond what you think. To permit to the core of your being that there is a way to play this game. This level of empowerment comes with courage – to admit that you don’t know what you don’t know. Permitting self-love is an act of courage. Then affirming, “I love myself” should be a good starting point. Hold that thought and contemplate on it.
- The second step is to be willing to learn the art of self-love. To allow it to happen. Do not block it. To be teachable – to enable it to flow through you. To be willing to go beyond your limited self. To move past the ego voice of “I know” to “I am willing to know, learn and intent to trust.” Awaken to the possibility that there is indeed more to know than your limited mind can admit. Just trust, be hopeful, and feel positive in knowing that you are willing to learn.
- The third step is accepting the way you are. Believe in yourself. Bring a sense of satisfaction for what you have. Move past the thoughts of lack – of what you don’t have. Contemplate on it: Just accepting the way things are – job, work, colleagues, project, relationships, life. Just be loving, kind, and forgiving to yourself. Just forget and let it be. Just be. Accept it. Just accept. Relax into the knowing. Just affirm, “I forgive others, myself and accept the way I am. I love myself just the way I am.” Accept the showers of love and let them fill you inside. The acceptance will trigger the thoughts of self-worth.
- The fourth step will automatically trigger you to find reasons for what you are truly worth. Start to find the meaning in life that you have forgotten, give importance to your being. It will provide reasons for what it is like to be human: breathing, eating, seeing, and simply living. It will trigger more specific events in mind that will show your sense of self-worth in the forgotten areas of your job, talents, skills, relationships, and the subtle art of being human. Take it all in. You will start to see the beauty in your life and respect yourself. You will understand what a remarkable person you are in essence. Perhaps even wise beyond your years. Then affirm, “I am worthy of a loving, meaningful, and purpose-driven life. I am a vessel of love, light, and positivity. I am important and worthy of love.”
- The fifth step is the appreciation of yourself. You have been doing this all along. Feeling grateful for what you are inside and outside. The only difference is it is effortless. It comes naturally. You know you love yourself, take care of yourself – not once in a while, not weekly, not daily, but every moment. You evolve into this state of self-love with confidence, patience, compassion, and serenity. Look at your hands, hug yourself, be grateful for a loving heart. Just affirm, ” I am a peaceful soul. I am positive. I am grateful for everything and more. I am strong. I am love. I am Joy. I am brave. I am humble. I am a winner. I surrender to the Highest Good for all.”
As you play the other games and complete your other missions in life, be sure to repeat these affirmations daily. Integrate the game of self-love with other games you play. Here is a video I prepared for your daily affirmations. Please click to play.
Self-Love: Question #6:When is the right time to start self-love?
The right time is when you have slowed down the pace of life. If you are driving your car at 50 miles an hour and see an exit sign that you need to take, how do you start taking that exit?
The first step is to slow down. Apply your brakes. Use it now. As soon as you apply your brakes now, you will start to feel more clarity and control of the direction. Similarly, as soon as you slow down in life, you will feel an increased sense of awareness of the object you need to love – that is you.
So slow down now. Take a day off. Week off. Month off if you can afford it. Spend time with yourself now. Course-correct your thoughts with positive affirmations daily by starting today.
Self-love is the innate power to love yourself deeply at all levels: mind, body, and soul. To invoke this power, you must be with yourself, find your worth, respect yourself, take care of yourself, protect yourself with boundaries, and have a balanced life.
Doing so requires going through the deconditioning process of yourself: removing the false labels, titles, unconscious self-hate, low self-esteem, feeling not good enough, and floating in lower vibrations until you wake up and rise, recognize, and realize the process of self-love.
The five steps to play this game help you elevate your consciousness to that level of love.
So slowing down right now, spending time with yourself now, and course-correcting your thoughts with positive affirmations daily can help you start the game of self-love today.
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